That this would be my life. That I would be the one left to watch my grams die. That I would be the one that would become her caregiver. That I would always be the one. I can honestly say that my mother would disappoint me like she has, more so, that my whole FAMILY would disappoint me like this...they just left me high and dry...I never imagined...
I am the one that helps...I do what I need to do to make things work which leaves very little time for me...I have no time to take care of myself. I am heavier than I have ever been and I'm just SO tired that I don't work out...I eat food that's bad for me and I just keep getting fatter...I'm depressed most of the time...I can honestly say I HATE ME LIFE...actually, I HATE not having a life.
I thought this would be longer...but it looks like I got it all out pretty quickly...
Monday, December 7, 2009
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
The story of TJ and I
In 1988 TJ was born to my cousin and her husband. We had helped prepare for the birth because TJ's mom was young and they didn't have a lot of money. The seemed appreciative at the time but they came to take advantage of our generosity. They would come to us on an almost daily basis to get money for diapers, formula, laundry soap and what not. It got to the point that we just started keeping those things on hand...
When TJ was about 6 months old we started keeping TJ from Sunday evening to Friday evening. We had a crib for him, high chair, walker, car seat and bathtub. It was like he was ours.
After the first of the year TJ's mom left his dad and left TJ behind. When his dad filed for custody I took it upon myself to apply for custody on my own. I couldn't imagine TJ being brought up in the environment that his dad would expose him to.
In a rare decision, I was awarded custody of TJ and I picked him up in August of 1999. He was mine...
He hasn't left my side since. I went from being called Sissy to Sissy Mommy to finally MOMMY. That is the most precious word I've ever heard. How blessed am I to have this amazing little boy in my life? He may test my nerves but he also showed me that I was capable of more love than I ever imagined.
He may not be my son by birth, by marriage or by blood but he is MINE...always, mine. And I wouldn't want it any other way.
Monday, November 16, 2009
To My Amazing Friends...
I want to say THANK YOU!
Thank you for sticking by me through it all..for not allowing the things out of my control affect the way you see me.
I never in a million years thought that I would be where I was recently and I honestly never thought I would have so many people on my side.
The fact that you listened made a huge difference.
The fact that sometimes you tell me things I don't necessarily want to hear is appreciated.
Knowing that if I DO need you that you will be there.
Realizing that you are going to call me on the bullshit helps a lot.
Not allowing me to feel sorry for myself...that is something I REALLY need.
I love that you love me unconditionally.
You are my stars...when I doubt the love and support in my life...all I have to do is look up to the night sky and THANK MY LUCKY STARS.
I love you all deeply, unconditionally - with all of my being...
Kelly
Thank you for sticking by me through it all..for not allowing the things out of my control affect the way you see me.
I never in a million years thought that I would be where I was recently and I honestly never thought I would have so many people on my side.
The fact that you listened made a huge difference.
The fact that sometimes you tell me things I don't necessarily want to hear is appreciated.
Knowing that if I DO need you that you will be there.
Realizing that you are going to call me on the bullshit helps a lot.
Not allowing me to feel sorry for myself...that is something I REALLY need.
I love that you love me unconditionally.
You are my stars...when I doubt the love and support in my life...all I have to do is look up to the night sky and THANK MY LUCKY STARS.
I love you all deeply, unconditionally - with all of my being...
Kelly
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
My NKOTB Experience @ Blossom
When I was 14 years old I asked my mom for tickets to the NKOTB concert for my birthday…she came through with tickets to the Cincinnati show on July 10, 1990. I had turned 15 on the 6th of July. I totally thought that Jordan Knight was going to see me dressed in my polka dot shirt, matching leggings, lycra mini skirt and BIG hair and fall head over heels in love with me. Alas, when I got to my seat I realized it was in the VERY LAST ROW of the venue. I was CRUSHED…none the less, when the boys took the stage I was transported to a different time and place. I was blissful. That was one of the BEST birthdays ever….
Cut to 19 years later…I’m turning 34 and the BLOCK is playing close to Columbus…my girlfriends and I splurge on 5* tickets. Mind you, this is not my first 5* but by far the most special to me. I blubbered on Jordan at my first M & G – I doubt he understood a ¼ of the words that came out of my mouth. It was memorable and quite special to me as I did share something very personal with him and he was very kind and deeply touched. My 2nd M & G was more for my son than it was for me and for HIM it was amazing. But this one, THIS ONE, I wanted to actually TALK to them and not be dumbfounded…AND IT WAS MORE THAN I EVER COULD HAVE IMAGINED.
I always have a gazillion things I want to say to each of them. Do I ever manage to get it out of my mouth? Usually the answer is no…it usually ends up with me getting two wordsout of my mouth, if that. Once again I had rehearsed all of the things I wanted to say, expecting full well to get in there and freeze. As we were standing in line I was chit chatting with Earl, the big burly bodyguard with a heart of gold and I wasn’t nervous at all. They finally allowed our group to go in. Did I go to Jordan first? Nope. Danny? Nope. Jon? Nope. Donnie? Nope. Joe? Nope. I went to ARMONDO – the bodyguard. I walked up to him and said…”I told you to remember this face, that you would see it again.” And he said “And I do, 4 heads in a door.” (Which is what the bodyguards referred to the 4 of us in our cabin on the cruise). I then said “Get used to it because you are gonna see me quite a bit this week” He said “Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” I say “That remains to be seen.” LOL!
Next I made a BEELINE for Jordan. Stood in front of him and said “Jordan, I can’t talk to you so just read my shirt.” He did, smiled and opened his arms wide for a hug. I stepped in and just about died. BEST Jordan hug I have ever gotten. It was then picture time. I got lucky and got myself another Donnie/Jordan Sandwich (Yummy). The first picture Jordan is hamming it up as usual but the second one I wrapped my arms around him and LAYED my head on his shoulder. That was BLISS! He felt so good. That is the safest and most content I have felt in so long (why am I just realizing this?).
I then turned to find Joe. I walked up and said “Hi Joe. My name is Kelly. I’m your Sinatra Girl.” And he said “As in YOU ARE MY SINATRA?” I MELTED – Joe McIntyre REMEMBERED ME. HOLY SHIT! I said “Yep, that’s me.” He said “Thank you!” and opened those arms of his for a hug. I then had a lengthy conversation with him about the book drive in Cincinnati. The bodyguards were hovering but Joe kept putting his hand out to them so they wouldn’t interrupt us.
Finally I decide it’s probably time to go. I turn and am face to face with Donnie. I salute him. He salutes back. I say “Permission to grab your ass sir.” And he says “Grab it baby. Grab it with BOTH hands.” When he said “Grab it” I grabbed with my right hand…as soon as he said both hands it was like “BAM”. I grabbed and squeezed a couple of times. It was GREAT. Joe even looked over, eyes all big, and said “DAMN”.
On my way out I pass Jon. I say “Hi Jon, I’m Kelly and I gave you a napkin on the cruise.” He looked at me for a moment and then recognition set in and he said “Yes. Yes you did. THANK YOU!” and gave me an infamous Jon Knight hug.
Not until it was all over did I realize that I never saw or spoke to Danny. *sigh* I guess I have a new mission…
The show itself was absolutely amazing. They top themselves every time. I got some great photos; made some great new friends. Experienced a little girl’s first concert and saw first hand how much the guys care about the young ones. They don’t HAVE to pay attention to them but they seek them out and make them feel like they are very special.
Can’t wait to do it all again.
Special thanks to my girls for going with me again and helping make those memories even better (and for being able to verify that “things” actually happened and I wasn’t just making it up. ;)
Cut to 19 years later…I’m turning 34 and the BLOCK is playing close to Columbus…my girlfriends and I splurge on 5* tickets. Mind you, this is not my first 5* but by far the most special to me. I blubbered on Jordan at my first M & G – I doubt he understood a ¼ of the words that came out of my mouth. It was memorable and quite special to me as I did share something very personal with him and he was very kind and deeply touched. My 2nd M & G was more for my son than it was for me and for HIM it was amazing. But this one, THIS ONE, I wanted to actually TALK to them and not be dumbfounded…AND IT WAS MORE THAN I EVER COULD HAVE IMAGINED.
I always have a gazillion things I want to say to each of them. Do I ever manage to get it out of my mouth? Usually the answer is no…it usually ends up with me getting two wordsout of my mouth, if that. Once again I had rehearsed all of the things I wanted to say, expecting full well to get in there and freeze. As we were standing in line I was chit chatting with Earl, the big burly bodyguard with a heart of gold and I wasn’t nervous at all. They finally allowed our group to go in. Did I go to Jordan first? Nope. Danny? Nope. Jon? Nope. Donnie? Nope. Joe? Nope. I went to ARMONDO – the bodyguard. I walked up to him and said…”I told you to remember this face, that you would see it again.” And he said “And I do, 4 heads in a door.” (Which is what the bodyguards referred to the 4 of us in our cabin on the cruise). I then said “Get used to it because you are gonna see me quite a bit this week” He said “Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” I say “That remains to be seen.” LOL!
Next I made a BEELINE for Jordan. Stood in front of him and said “Jordan, I can’t talk to you so just read my shirt.” He did, smiled and opened his arms wide for a hug. I stepped in and just about died. BEST Jordan hug I have ever gotten. It was then picture time. I got lucky and got myself another Donnie/Jordan Sandwich (Yummy). The first picture Jordan is hamming it up as usual but the second one I wrapped my arms around him and LAYED my head on his shoulder. That was BLISS! He felt so good. That is the safest and most content I have felt in so long (why am I just realizing this?).
I then turned to find Joe. I walked up and said “Hi Joe. My name is Kelly. I’m your Sinatra Girl.” And he said “As in YOU ARE MY SINATRA?” I MELTED – Joe McIntyre REMEMBERED ME. HOLY SHIT! I said “Yep, that’s me.” He said “Thank you!” and opened those arms of his for a hug. I then had a lengthy conversation with him about the book drive in Cincinnati. The bodyguards were hovering but Joe kept putting his hand out to them so they wouldn’t interrupt us.
Finally I decide it’s probably time to go. I turn and am face to face with Donnie. I salute him. He salutes back. I say “Permission to grab your ass sir.” And he says “Grab it baby. Grab it with BOTH hands.” When he said “Grab it” I grabbed with my right hand…as soon as he said both hands it was like “BAM”. I grabbed and squeezed a couple of times. It was GREAT. Joe even looked over, eyes all big, and said “DAMN”.
On my way out I pass Jon. I say “Hi Jon, I’m Kelly and I gave you a napkin on the cruise.” He looked at me for a moment and then recognition set in and he said “Yes. Yes you did. THANK YOU!” and gave me an infamous Jon Knight hug.
Not until it was all over did I realize that I never saw or spoke to Danny. *sigh* I guess I have a new mission…
The show itself was absolutely amazing. They top themselves every time. I got some great photos; made some great new friends. Experienced a little girl’s first concert and saw first hand how much the guys care about the young ones. They don’t HAVE to pay attention to them but they seek them out and make them feel like they are very special.
Can’t wait to do it all again.
Special thanks to my girls for going with me again and helping make those memories even better (and for being able to verify that “things” actually happened and I wasn’t just making it up. ;)
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
"The Family"
Sometimes I forget – that you are different. You let us in. You allow us a glimpse into your lives. How honored we are to be trusted with “Real Talk”. For YOU are not just a group, and WE are not just the fans – we are FAMILY!
I don’t think one can truly appreciate the love we have for each other. Some of us have never met face to face and probably never will. But, these “strangers” are our brothers, sisters, best friends, confidants…they cry with us, laugh with us and celebrate with us. These are the people we can count on when times are tough and when we need an ear to listen or a shoulder on which to cry.
This “family” represents some of the happiest times of our lives. We have shared so much, even if we didn’t know it. We all LOVED these 5 guys from Boston with all of our hearts. They were our first boyfriends. Our secret keepers. They were everything we needed exactly when we needed them to be.
How blessed are we to have them in our lives again?
How amazing is it that they don’t treat us like fans but as friends?
How amazing is it that the “BAND” wants to be friends with us too?
How did we get so lucky?
To you, my new FAMILY, thank you for coming into my life and for allowing me into yours…thank you for sharing your troubles and for listening to mine. Thank you for your advice and for your tough love. Thank you for wiping my tears.
To you , my boys from the Block – thank you for allowing us a little peek into your lives. For feeling comfortable enough to share your quirky sense of humor with us and for treating us as more than just your fans. But most of all, thank you for bringing into my life some of the most amazing women I have ever known – some of which I consider some of my best friends.
So far the ride has been amazing…I can’t wait to see what’s around the corner…you guys are entirely too good to us…
I don’t think one can truly appreciate the love we have for each other. Some of us have never met face to face and probably never will. But, these “strangers” are our brothers, sisters, best friends, confidants…they cry with us, laugh with us and celebrate with us. These are the people we can count on when times are tough and when we need an ear to listen or a shoulder on which to cry.
This “family” represents some of the happiest times of our lives. We have shared so much, even if we didn’t know it. We all LOVED these 5 guys from Boston with all of our hearts. They were our first boyfriends. Our secret keepers. They were everything we needed exactly when we needed them to be.
How blessed are we to have them in our lives again?
How amazing is it that they don’t treat us like fans but as friends?
How amazing is it that the “BAND” wants to be friends with us too?
How did we get so lucky?
To you, my new FAMILY, thank you for coming into my life and for allowing me into yours…thank you for sharing your troubles and for listening to mine. Thank you for your advice and for your tough love. Thank you for wiping my tears.
To you , my boys from the Block – thank you for allowing us a little peek into your lives. For feeling comfortable enough to share your quirky sense of humor with us and for treating us as more than just your fans. But most of all, thank you for bringing into my life some of the most amazing women I have ever known – some of which I consider some of my best friends.
So far the ride has been amazing…I can’t wait to see what’s around the corner…you guys are entirely too good to us…
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Donnie F*cking Wahlberg
Donnie Wahlberg – The 2009 CRUISE Edition
Now, I’ve had my fair share of FACETIME with Mr. Wahlberg. You could say I’ve been one of the “lucky” ones. Do I seek him out? No, can’t say that I do. I am just usually in the right place at the right time.
For instance, on the cruise, I happened to be standing on the upper level of the deck, taking pictures of some of the guys on stage. I was oblivious to the fact that Ddub was leaving the stage. All of a sudden there was a commotion behind me…I turn to see that Donnie is making his way, flanked by bodyguards, from the lower level to the upper level. I walk over to the top of the steps to get a good picture. Without notice, D starts passing out hugs. He reaches out and grabs me, pulls me in and lingers there for a minute with my head resting on his neck. Now I’m sure it was over in an instant but DAMN, when he’s holding you, it feels like FOREVER. He goes on down the line leaving me there dazed and confused. I love the aftershock of a D-Dub Hug! Oh, did I mention that I was so out of it that I never got a picture? I’m an IDIOT!
Ok, then there was the time that I was looking for Jordan. It was Sunday and he was rumored to be headed up to the casino, after the concert, to play some Blackjack. Me, wanting to catch a glimpse of my man headed that direction. OH MY GOODNESS, the place was packed. I had forgotten that Donnie was set to play his heads up poker game. People had staked out there spots already to catch a glimpse of D. I walked through the entire casino, no Jordan. I even peeked over towards the mass of people waiting for Donnie; didn’t see him. I turned to leave and ran smack dab into DONNIE FUCKING WAHLBERG. He smiled that smile that only D smiles. He reached out and grabbed my arm at the elbow and slid his hand down my arm, stopping at my hand and lingering there (that man ALWAYS lingers). The whole time his eyes were locked on mine. Once again, I’m left dazed and confused…I look at him and say “Well, you’re not the New Kid I was looking for but that’ll do.”
*Sigh*
All of my D-Dub encounters have been WONDERFUL…thing is, I STILL don’t have a picture with him. That’s on my list though.
Oh, is it just me, or is Donnie Wahlberg acknowledging your existence in this world just the best thing ever? He makes you feel like you are the only person in the room…like he only has eyes for you. It’s quite an amazing feeling. I do adore me some D-Dub but my heart remains Jordan’s.
Now, I’ve had my fair share of FACETIME with Mr. Wahlberg. You could say I’ve been one of the “lucky” ones. Do I seek him out? No, can’t say that I do. I am just usually in the right place at the right time.
For instance, on the cruise, I happened to be standing on the upper level of the deck, taking pictures of some of the guys on stage. I was oblivious to the fact that Ddub was leaving the stage. All of a sudden there was a commotion behind me…I turn to see that Donnie is making his way, flanked by bodyguards, from the lower level to the upper level. I walk over to the top of the steps to get a good picture. Without notice, D starts passing out hugs. He reaches out and grabs me, pulls me in and lingers there for a minute with my head resting on his neck. Now I’m sure it was over in an instant but DAMN, when he’s holding you, it feels like FOREVER. He goes on down the line leaving me there dazed and confused. I love the aftershock of a D-Dub Hug! Oh, did I mention that I was so out of it that I never got a picture? I’m an IDIOT!
Ok, then there was the time that I was looking for Jordan. It was Sunday and he was rumored to be headed up to the casino, after the concert, to play some Blackjack. Me, wanting to catch a glimpse of my man headed that direction. OH MY GOODNESS, the place was packed. I had forgotten that Donnie was set to play his heads up poker game. People had staked out there spots already to catch a glimpse of D. I walked through the entire casino, no Jordan. I even peeked over towards the mass of people waiting for Donnie; didn’t see him. I turned to leave and ran smack dab into DONNIE FUCKING WAHLBERG. He smiled that smile that only D smiles. He reached out and grabbed my arm at the elbow and slid his hand down my arm, stopping at my hand and lingering there (that man ALWAYS lingers). The whole time his eyes were locked on mine. Once again, I’m left dazed and confused…I look at him and say “Well, you’re not the New Kid I was looking for but that’ll do.”
*Sigh*
All of my D-Dub encounters have been WONDERFUL…thing is, I STILL don’t have a picture with him. That’s on my list though.
Oh, is it just me, or is Donnie Wahlberg acknowledging your existence in this world just the best thing ever? He makes you feel like you are the only person in the room…like he only has eyes for you. It’s quite an amazing feeling. I do adore me some D-Dub but my heart remains Jordan’s.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Ramblings
Isn't it wonderful to see someone you put so much effort, love and faith into, that dropped you like a bad habit - FAIL?! I know it's not the "Godly" thing to do but damn it feels good to know that even if it didn't seem like it at the time, you are better off without them in your life.
I like Jello~ Sometimes I forget how much I like Jello. Then I have some...and remember how much I DO like Jello?
Is it time for bed? I'm tired....long drive tomorrow.
If I had all of my followers from Twitter at my house they wouldn't fit. I really don't know why they are following me...am I that funny and interesting?
Why would Jon Knight get everyone all excited by saying NAKED and FLOP in back to back Tweets only to run off and leave us all hot and bothered? So unfair...
Do you feel like you are the only person in the world who loves NKOTB to the moon and back?
Why is it so easy for Donnie Wahlberg to inspire me? His words lift me up and get me going...RISE and GRIND!
I'm loving my new friends "across the pond" - They F-ing RAWK.
I never wanted to be in the Army until Jessicaca mentioned her Army and then I NEEDED to belong.
Wondering if ILAA will let me take flashcards into Meet & Greet - I always get silly stupid and can't talk to Jordan when he's near me...and there is so much I want to say.
Ok...I think that's it...I'm tired...must get sleep.
I like Jello~ Sometimes I forget how much I like Jello. Then I have some...and remember how much I DO like Jello?
Is it time for bed? I'm tired....long drive tomorrow.
If I had all of my followers from Twitter at my house they wouldn't fit. I really don't know why they are following me...am I that funny and interesting?
Why would Jon Knight get everyone all excited by saying NAKED and FLOP in back to back Tweets only to run off and leave us all hot and bothered? So unfair...
Do you feel like you are the only person in the world who loves NKOTB to the moon and back?
Why is it so easy for Donnie Wahlberg to inspire me? His words lift me up and get me going...RISE and GRIND!
I'm loving my new friends "across the pond" - They F-ing RAWK.
I never wanted to be in the Army until Jessicaca mentioned her Army and then I NEEDED to belong.
Wondering if ILAA will let me take flashcards into Meet & Greet - I always get silly stupid and can't talk to Jordan when he's near me...and there is so much I want to say.
Ok...I think that's it...I'm tired...must get sleep.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Disappointed - Broken Hearted - Dismayed
My "dad"...the man who helped give me life...claims that I have disappointed him. Excuse me? Did you not walk away from me, out of my life when I was just a child? How many times have you seen me dance? ONCE...do you hear me...ONE TIME - I've been dancing since I was 6...I'm 33 years old...was it just too hard to do? Did you EVER attend one of my school functions? Nope, sure didn't. How many times did I cry when I was a little girl because I wanted you or needed you? Too many to remember or count.
Don't you dare - DON'T YOU DARE do this to me...you have no right. You have no right to judge me...I am an amazing person...unfortunately you don't know that because you don't know me. You think you need you know me but you've missed out on who I am and what I've become.
Have I ever stopped loving you? No, I haven't...I loved you even when you broke my heart. I can't say the same for you...because there have been very few times I have truely felt loved by you.
I'm so flustered right now that I can't get my thoughts in order...I can't see through the tears...I swore a long time ago that I would never let you make me cry again...my tears have been wasted on you more than care to recall.
Talk about disappointment...I've lived with it most of my life.
Why wasn't I good enough to fight for? What made me so bad? Why couldn't you love me? Why couldn't you be proud of me? WHY!
Don't you dare - DON'T YOU DARE do this to me...you have no right. You have no right to judge me...I am an amazing person...unfortunately you don't know that because you don't know me. You think you need you know me but you've missed out on who I am and what I've become.
Have I ever stopped loving you? No, I haven't...I loved you even when you broke my heart. I can't say the same for you...because there have been very few times I have truely felt loved by you.
I'm so flustered right now that I can't get my thoughts in order...I can't see through the tears...I swore a long time ago that I would never let you make me cry again...my tears have been wasted on you more than care to recall.
Talk about disappointment...I've lived with it most of my life.
Why wasn't I good enough to fight for? What made me so bad? Why couldn't you love me? Why couldn't you be proud of me? WHY!
Monday, May 25, 2009
My NKOTB sister friends...
Never in a million years did I think I would find some of my bestest friends through NKOTB…
Let me take you back to October 2008. My friend from Kindergarten and I, along with my cousin, headed to Cleveland to see NKOTB on their reunion tour. We planned on meeting up with a group of fans from the NKOTB community to do some bus stalking. Well, we got the Galleria and came across a quiet girl and her much out of loop but happy to be along for the ride husband. I’m not sure why, but we gravitated towards each other. We spent the rest of the day following each other around. Had dinner and walked to the show together. We even went so far as to wait for the buses after the show…the rest, shall we say is history. We have since been to 5 more shows together. We talk on the phone at least once a week…we are the best of friends. She gets mad at me because I’m too “out there” and I get mad at her because she doesn’t put herself “out there” enough. But, no matter what, thick or thin, we’ve got each others backs. My Heather, you know I love you and I’m sorry that I’ve bruised not only your thigh but now your ass. Please forgive me. And, don’t get mad when I push you into the arms of Donnie Wahlberg and Joey McIntyre. You deserve your time and I’m bound and determined to make sure you get it. I’m Just Sayin.
I came across this chat room welovenewkids.xat.com and there was this girl in there. She was outspoken. Had a wicked, twisted sense of humor, just like me. Thing is I didn’t think she would like me…I mean, she was from Florida and I was simply from Ohio. Sigh…how I wanted to be her friend. LUCKY ME – she wanted to be my friend too. We became fast friends. We laughed at each others jokes. We liked to pull pranks…pranks that we found hilarious but others found not quite funny at all…which made them even funnier to us…LMAO. Then, as if it couldn’t get any better, we found out we were both going on the cruise. We made a ton of plans…unfortunately Debbie Downer went with me and foiled most of them. I honestly thought that my Lisa, my wonderful Lisa, hated me. I was so afraid that I had ruined it all. Funny thing, she thought the same thing…this is how alike we are. So alike in fact that it’s creepy. I am so happy that she fell into my life when she did and only hope she stays there for years to come.
Last but not least is my NYC girl – she brings out the BITCH in me…the NYC bitch that is. Our fist meeting? The Today show in NYC. We had spoken on the phone TONS of times. We had made plans for the cruise. We shared a love for Jordan Knight. She, and her alter ego, LATOYA, have found a special place in my heart. Getting to hang with her in NYC was AMAZING. Spending time with her on the cruise was even better. Now, as if it couldn’t get any better, she thought of me when Jordan was passing out ticket to the Jones Beach show. She asked for “just 1, for a friend” and he gave it to her. Now, I get to go to Jones Beach to see the guys and in return, she is coming her to see them in Cincy & Indy. We have so got this shit.
I can’t tell you how blessed I am to have these amazing women in my life. They lift me up when I’m feeling down. They expect nothing more from me than what I’m willing to give. They love without boundaries. That is an amazing gift to be given, not once, not twice but many times over…
Let me take you back to October 2008. My friend from Kindergarten and I, along with my cousin, headed to Cleveland to see NKOTB on their reunion tour. We planned on meeting up with a group of fans from the NKOTB community to do some bus stalking. Well, we got the Galleria and came across a quiet girl and her much out of loop but happy to be along for the ride husband. I’m not sure why, but we gravitated towards each other. We spent the rest of the day following each other around. Had dinner and walked to the show together. We even went so far as to wait for the buses after the show…the rest, shall we say is history. We have since been to 5 more shows together. We talk on the phone at least once a week…we are the best of friends. She gets mad at me because I’m too “out there” and I get mad at her because she doesn’t put herself “out there” enough. But, no matter what, thick or thin, we’ve got each others backs. My Heather, you know I love you and I’m sorry that I’ve bruised not only your thigh but now your ass. Please forgive me. And, don’t get mad when I push you into the arms of Donnie Wahlberg and Joey McIntyre. You deserve your time and I’m bound and determined to make sure you get it. I’m Just Sayin.
I came across this chat room welovenewkids.xat.com and there was this girl in there. She was outspoken. Had a wicked, twisted sense of humor, just like me. Thing is I didn’t think she would like me…I mean, she was from Florida and I was simply from Ohio. Sigh…how I wanted to be her friend. LUCKY ME – she wanted to be my friend too. We became fast friends. We laughed at each others jokes. We liked to pull pranks…pranks that we found hilarious but others found not quite funny at all…which made them even funnier to us…LMAO. Then, as if it couldn’t get any better, we found out we were both going on the cruise. We made a ton of plans…unfortunately Debbie Downer went with me and foiled most of them. I honestly thought that my Lisa, my wonderful Lisa, hated me. I was so afraid that I had ruined it all. Funny thing, she thought the same thing…this is how alike we are. So alike in fact that it’s creepy. I am so happy that she fell into my life when she did and only hope she stays there for years to come.
Last but not least is my NYC girl – she brings out the BITCH in me…the NYC bitch that is. Our fist meeting? The Today show in NYC. We had spoken on the phone TONS of times. We had made plans for the cruise. We shared a love for Jordan Knight. She, and her alter ego, LATOYA, have found a special place in my heart. Getting to hang with her in NYC was AMAZING. Spending time with her on the cruise was even better. Now, as if it couldn’t get any better, she thought of me when Jordan was passing out ticket to the Jones Beach show. She asked for “just 1, for a friend” and he gave it to her. Now, I get to go to Jones Beach to see the guys and in return, she is coming her to see them in Cincy & Indy. We have so got this shit.
I can’t tell you how blessed I am to have these amazing women in my life. They lift me up when I’m feeling down. They expect nothing more from me than what I’m willing to give. They love without boundaries. That is an amazing gift to be given, not once, not twice but many times over…
Saturday, May 23, 2009
My Sinatra - - - Joe Mac
Now, I'll be fair in saying that Joe was never my fave. He actually ranked towards the bottom. But, after this reunion and seeing this man perform...I have a new found and very deep affection for him.
I've always felt I was born in the wrong era...why? Well because I absolutely adore Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr. and Tony Bennett. Their music soothes my soul and speaks to my heart. I've never found anyone in my era who's music moved me the way theirs does. Until this reunion...when I saw Joe Mac take the stage I was mesmerized. To the point of my heart skipping a beat. I am in awe of his perfomance style. I applaude his love of the craft. His need to entertain. From that first concert, Joe Mac became MY SINATRA.
My adoration is far deeper than a "crush". Is he cute? Hell yes, there is no denying that. But no one makes me swoon the way Jordan Knight does and that will never change. I love Joe Mac in a totally different way. He is doing what I LOVE to do. He is taking the stage and touching peoples lives. I live to do that. Ok, I'm done Blah, Blah, Blahing!
Cut to Columbus, Ohio concert. I made a sign for Joe that says "Joe You Are My Sinatra". I held it up towards the end of the show, during Hangin' Tough. JOE SAW MY SIGN. Pointed to it...touched his heart and blew me a kiss. I knew that he too loved ol' blue eyes and that being compared to him would be the ultimate compliment. That was my intention. I wanted him to know that he was a legend in his own right and to keep doing what he was doing.
A month later we head to NYC for the Today show...I took my trusty sign along. I don't believe Joe saw it at the Today show but he did see it at the hotel. He pointed to it and asked what show I was at. I told him Columbus. He proceeded to TELL ME where I was sitting and WHEN he saw the sing. OMFG..Joe Mac remembered me. I was lucky enough to get a picture :D Cloud Nine doesn't describe my feelings at that moment. *Sigh*
During the picture I told Joe we would be going on the cruise. He told me it was gonna be a blast.
On the first night of the cruise our group (GROUP A) had GAME SHOW night. I took my sign. Just my way of telling Joe Mac I was there. He saw it and I put it away. :D
On the last night on the ship I was lucky enough to see Joe down the hall from us. An amazingly sweet little girl took my sign down to Joe and asked him to sign it. Joe opened the sign, looked my way and smiled. When the sign was returned I looked inside. It said "In My Dreams Joey McIntyre" My heart did a flip flop. I so adore that man. He is a performer and I love him for that. Entertaining people goes far beyond signing and dancing. You never know when someone in the audience may be having a bad day and you, with your music, touch them profoundly...make them smile, laugh or cry. No matter WHAT emotion you envoke, you make them FEEL and that in and of itself is a precious gift.
So, THANK YOU Joe Mac, for being my Sinatra. For touching my heart...lifting my spirit and making me FEEL.
As Always,
Kelly
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Jon Knight - the Cruise Edition
La, La, La, La, La, La JON KNIGHT!
My take on Jonathan R. Knight – the Cruise edition!
Did I expect to see Jon Knight out and about unless he was EXPECTED to be somewhere? Hell to the no. I expected him to keep a low profile. You know, stay out of the stalker eye. Boy was I wrong.
I came to expect certain things from him on the cruise…looked forward to them in fact. Every morning Jon would come out of his cabin, look our way down the hall and say “Good Morning Ladies.” Or “Hello ladies how are you?” Did he HAVE to do this? Nope, sure didn’t but he did which made me love him even more.
Every time he walked past our door he would say “Hello”. Every time he saw us out and about on the ship he would say “Hello” or simply “Hey”. It was just so…so…NORMAL. I think we all have a habit of thinking that these guys are something other than human…being with them in this setting really shows you just how REAL they are.
One evening in particular, the last night on the ship, we went to the buffet to grab some dinner. We missed ours because we were standing in line for our concert (Bwahahahaha – had to have a good seat ya know?). I decided not to sit at “our” table but took another table closer to the back of the room. The rest of my girls soon followed. We were all enjoying our dinner when BAM, out of nowhere, Jon Knight appears at the 24 Hour Pizzeria. He says “What’s good?” My friend, Kim, says “We had the pan pizza last night. It was really good.” Jon says “The Pan?” turns and orders the pan. He attempted to head out the deck to eat only to find that it was closed for cleaning. So, he took the table next to ours. We continued to eat but the vultures appeared. It was ridiculous. They wouldn’t even let the man eat. I felt so bad. I know everyone wanted an autograph or a photo or just to say hi but come on, can’t the man eat his dinner in peace? Once he finished his slice of pizza he decided he was still hungry and went for a burger. Back at the table he decided to dig in IMMEDIATELY, apparently he was very hungry. I couldn’t help but notice that he got ketchup on his face. He looked for a napkin and there wasn’t one on the table. So, he did what any NORMAL person would do and wiped the ketchup on his jeans. The mom in me went nuts. I immediately got up, walked to where the wrapped silverware was and grabbed Jon a set. Walked over and very politely said “You look like you could use a napkin.” And simply walked away…but not before he said “THANK YOU”.
To me, that was the PERFECT Jon Knight moment. It was one I certainly won’t forget. That and sharing our coffee on the balcony to our cabins in the morning. ;)
Jon, I hope you did not mind my intrusion…I just NEEDED you to have a napkin. Please forgive me.
Kelly (Napkin Girl)
My take on Jonathan R. Knight – the Cruise edition!
Did I expect to see Jon Knight out and about unless he was EXPECTED to be somewhere? Hell to the no. I expected him to keep a low profile. You know, stay out of the stalker eye. Boy was I wrong.
I came to expect certain things from him on the cruise…looked forward to them in fact. Every morning Jon would come out of his cabin, look our way down the hall and say “Good Morning Ladies.” Or “Hello ladies how are you?” Did he HAVE to do this? Nope, sure didn’t but he did which made me love him even more.
Every time he walked past our door he would say “Hello”. Every time he saw us out and about on the ship he would say “Hello” or simply “Hey”. It was just so…so…NORMAL. I think we all have a habit of thinking that these guys are something other than human…being with them in this setting really shows you just how REAL they are.
One evening in particular, the last night on the ship, we went to the buffet to grab some dinner. We missed ours because we were standing in line for our concert (Bwahahahaha – had to have a good seat ya know?). I decided not to sit at “our” table but took another table closer to the back of the room. The rest of my girls soon followed. We were all enjoying our dinner when BAM, out of nowhere, Jon Knight appears at the 24 Hour Pizzeria. He says “What’s good?” My friend, Kim, says “We had the pan pizza last night. It was really good.” Jon says “The Pan?” turns and orders the pan. He attempted to head out the deck to eat only to find that it was closed for cleaning. So, he took the table next to ours. We continued to eat but the vultures appeared. It was ridiculous. They wouldn’t even let the man eat. I felt so bad. I know everyone wanted an autograph or a photo or just to say hi but come on, can’t the man eat his dinner in peace? Once he finished his slice of pizza he decided he was still hungry and went for a burger. Back at the table he decided to dig in IMMEDIATELY, apparently he was very hungry. I couldn’t help but notice that he got ketchup on his face. He looked for a napkin and there wasn’t one on the table. So, he did what any NORMAL person would do and wiped the ketchup on his jeans. The mom in me went nuts. I immediately got up, walked to where the wrapped silverware was and grabbed Jon a set. Walked over and very politely said “You look like you could use a napkin.” And simply walked away…but not before he said “THANK YOU”.
To me, that was the PERFECT Jon Knight moment. It was one I certainly won’t forget. That and sharing our coffee on the balcony to our cabins in the morning. ;)
Jon, I hope you did not mind my intrusion…I just NEEDED you to have a napkin. Please forgive me.
Kelly (Napkin Girl)
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
My Jordan Knight Cruise Blog
Topic - Jordan Knight
Location - The SS NKOTB (AKA: The Carnival Imagination)
From my previous blog you know that we were lucky enough to be in the same hall as the guys. You also read that I was "overwhelmed" to say the least when I saw Jordan walking down the hall...that I turned into a puddle of goo when he gave me a rose.
Here are a couple things you don't know.
During the "Game Show" they kept playing songs from THE BLOCK in between questions and the guys were singing. Jordan was really getting into one of the songs. I was mesmerized by him...just staring...he looked down at me and sang a line (I do believe it was from Sexify My Love). My eyes got huge. My hand flew to my heart and I said "OH - MY - GOD" to which Mr. Jordan Knight laughed hysterically.
Cut to the "Photo Op". I decided NOT to stand next to Jordan...but to stand with Danny (BIG MISTAKE). I walk in and right before our group Jordan had decided to stand instead of sit which meant I had to walk PAST him to get to Danny. Though I was wearing a "DANNY'S DIVA" shirt, my heart skipped a beat and I was obvious in the fact that I am and always will be a Jordan girl. I looked him in the eyes and went "huh....huh...huh...(breath caught in throat almost died...true story)" He smiled that amazing JK smile and gave me a little laugh.
Last but certainly NOT least was the concert. Second row...Jordan played to our end of the stage and I was loving it. He was standing right in front of me at one point and I was just locked on him. Singing and dancing...having a grand old time. I look up and see Danny's daughter looking at me...she laughed and then looked at Jordan and blew him a kiss...she is a doll.
Not once,but TWICE Jordan noticed my shirt's. Got a "1,2,3 point" from him to me, Latanya and Lisa for our "3" Girls, "3" States, "1" Love Jordan Knight shirts at the Sail Away party. Got eye contact and a great point, nod and smile from him for my OMFG I LOVEJ. N. M. K. shirt
All in all Jordan Knight was EVERYTHING I wanted him to be and more. Smiling...laughing...being real and it made me love him even more. Now, I just need a picture of me and Jordan Knight. *sigh*
So, Jordan, thank you from the bottom of this Jordan girls heart...I adore you. See you in 3 weeks.
Location - The SS NKOTB (AKA: The Carnival Imagination)
From my previous blog you know that we were lucky enough to be in the same hall as the guys. You also read that I was "overwhelmed" to say the least when I saw Jordan walking down the hall...that I turned into a puddle of goo when he gave me a rose.
Here are a couple things you don't know.
During the "Game Show" they kept playing songs from THE BLOCK in between questions and the guys were singing. Jordan was really getting into one of the songs. I was mesmerized by him...just staring...he looked down at me and sang a line (I do believe it was from Sexify My Love). My eyes got huge. My hand flew to my heart and I said "OH - MY - GOD" to which Mr. Jordan Knight laughed hysterically.
Cut to the "Photo Op". I decided NOT to stand next to Jordan...but to stand with Danny (BIG MISTAKE). I walk in and right before our group Jordan had decided to stand instead of sit which meant I had to walk PAST him to get to Danny. Though I was wearing a "DANNY'S DIVA" shirt, my heart skipped a beat and I was obvious in the fact that I am and always will be a Jordan girl. I looked him in the eyes and went "huh....huh...huh...(breath caught in throat almost died...true story)" He smiled that amazing JK smile and gave me a little laugh.
Last but certainly NOT least was the concert. Second row...Jordan played to our end of the stage and I was loving it. He was standing right in front of me at one point and I was just locked on him. Singing and dancing...having a grand old time. I look up and see Danny's daughter looking at me...she laughed and then looked at Jordan and blew him a kiss...she is a doll.
Not once,but TWICE Jordan noticed my shirt's. Got a "1,2,3 point" from him to me, Latanya and Lisa for our "3" Girls, "3" States, "1" Love Jordan Knight shirts at the Sail Away party. Got eye contact and a great point, nod and smile from him for my OMFG I LOVE
All in all Jordan Knight was EVERYTHING I wanted him to be and more. Smiling...laughing...being real and it made me love him even more. Now, I just need a picture of me and Jordan Knight. *sigh*
So, Jordan, thank you from the bottom of this Jordan girls heart...I adore you. See you in 3 weeks.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
NKOTB Cruise Blog - Part 1
This is MY experience on the SS NKOTB - all views are MY own - I DO NOT speak for everyone.
With that said - THE CRUISE WAS OUT OF THIS WORLD. These men, these 5 amazing men, gave more of themselves than we ever could ask for or SHOULD ask for. They went above and beyond in so many ways. They just GAVE it all.
The first day on the boat was so exciting...getting on board. Seeing everyone. Meeting friends I've waited, what seems like forever, to meet. Getting to our cabin only to realize that HOLY CRAP we were on the same floor as them. *fell on floor, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud (one for each New Kid)* Hung out in the hall while ycabin mates got ready. Looked to my left - OH MY GOD it's Jordan. Did I wave? No. Did I scream? No. Did I pass out? No. What DID I do you ask? Well I stood there with my hand over my mouth saying, only loud enough for me to hear, "It's Jordan, It's Jordan, It's Jordan, It's Jordan". To my dismay he turned my direction to see me standing there dumbfounded. He did however smile that winning JK smile and I almost fell on the floor.
We finally got up to the deck for the send off party - it was HOT! The guys looked amazing. They were smiling and laughing and just playing to the crowd. We were eating it up. Latanya, Lisa and I had on our "ONE LOVE" shirts for Jordan. He saw them, pointed, smiled and gave us an "oh yeah" nod. Pure heaven for any Jordan girl.
Next it was dinner time - YUM! The wait staff did a performance to NKOTB...it was HOT! THEN, it was GAME SHOW time - we had just enough time to run upstairs, put on our jammies and get in line. Glad we got there when we did. We had FRONT ROW seats. It was amazing. The answers the guys gave were HYSTERICAL! Joe's answer for everything was "BALLS" and he was doing a killer impression of Elvis, with the help of Donnie, all night long. The guys were all smiles and laughs. It was great to see them this way - it made them that much more REAL. At the end of the show Jordan was throwing out roses. When he got to our end of the stage I looked up and said "Jordan, just one, right here." To which he kissed a rose, handed it to me and smiled. Talk about MELTING...I melted...warm puddle of goo...or was that...NEVER MIND (LMAO)!
Once the game show ended we headed up to the deck party for FREE drinks and dancing...hella hot and an AMAZING time. I was up top when Donnie was making his way to the VIP area...I got a KILLER D-Dub hug. You know how he does, just lingers long enough to make you want more? Yep, that's the one I'm talking about. I think I finally fell into bed around 3:30 AM...what a way to kick off the cruise.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
THE YUMMY MUMMY BUS RIDES AGAIN
Yep, Kim and I are headed up too Akron to meet Heather and the Yummy Mummy Bus (along with a naive' blockhead named Jen who has NO idea what she is getting into), and heading our happy little tooshes to NYC to see the New Kids perform on the TODAY show.
This appearance will mark the 1 year anniversary of their reunion. Couldn't POSSIBLY miss this occasion for a million years. Well actually I almost did...Donnie was Tweeting and Tweeting about it and I was able to resist his temptations but then, Jordan had to go and say "PLEASE". That is like so unfair...I was beyond resistance at that word...asked the boss and got the ok to miss a day. Finally was able to say "Let's Get This"...and we shall...
NYC, the Block and a wonderful group of women who love these guys as much as I do...what more can a girl ask for? A little Facetime? I'm ok without it...just glad to be a part of it...
This appearance will mark the 1 year anniversary of their reunion. Couldn't POSSIBLY miss this occasion for a million years. Well actually I almost did...Donnie was Tweeting and Tweeting about it and I was able to resist his temptations but then, Jordan had to go and say "PLEASE". That is like so unfair...I was beyond resistance at that word...asked the boss and got the ok to miss a day. Finally was able to say "Let's Get This"...and we shall...
NYC, the Block and a wonderful group of women who love these guys as much as I do...what more can a girl ask for? A little Facetime? I'm ok without it...just glad to be a part of it...
Friday, April 24, 2009
A TWISTED little game...
http://http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=56342462
Are you challenging me?
I accept.
You INSIST that WE, your fans, the beat within your heart, live our own lives...to the fullest. By our rules. That we accept nothing but what we deserve and more. You will not stand by and allow us to go through life as just another "someone" another "face in the crowd". You know that we are capable of more...that we should expect more out of ourselves and others. You encourage us to FEEL...no matter how much it hurts or how much we don't want to...it's imperative that we do this to fulfill our destinies. Our destinies are intertwined. You need us as much as we need you...you are our air and we your sun. We must each dance to our own music...we must think before we speak...we must BE in the moment, of the moment...LIVE for the moment.
I will listen...when others speak...I will hear their words...I will heed their wishes...I will live by example...My life is...a little bit TWISTED but at least I'm living it.
Are you challenging me?
I accept.
You INSIST that WE, your fans, the beat within your heart, live our own lives...to the fullest. By our rules. That we accept nothing but what we deserve and more. You will not stand by and allow us to go through life as just another "someone" another "face in the crowd". You know that we are capable of more...that we should expect more out of ourselves and others. You encourage us to FEEL...no matter how much it hurts or how much we don't want to...it's imperative that we do this to fulfill our destinies. Our destinies are intertwined. You need us as much as we need you...you are our air and we your sun. We must each dance to our own music...we must think before we speak...we must BE in the moment, of the moment...LIVE for the moment.
I will listen...when others speak...I will hear their words...I will heed their wishes...I will live by example...My life is...a little bit TWISTED but at least I'm living it.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Me Thinks it's funny...
That they guys keep thanking us and we keep thanking them.
How little we knew that we ALL needed "THIS"...whatever it is in our lives at the very time. It has brought such joy. To some it has brought healing - a means of simply "surviving". I never imagined that there were others out there who clung to their of NKOTB as a lifeline like I did. I have read so many stories - some so touching - others, HYSTERICAL! None the less we are part of a HUGE quilt of NKOTB love, that the guys are just as much a part of as we are. It warms when we are cold. Shades from the sun. Hugs us when we need that hug. Comforts us when we need comfort. Catches our tears when we cry. This quilt is an amazing thing. One that I am honored and happy to share with all of you.
Next time you hear the phrase "Don't hog the covers" - remember to spread the love. Smile at a stranger - help someone who doesn't expect it - be the sunshine in someone elses day - MATTER! Because you matter to me!
How little we knew that we ALL needed "THIS"...whatever it is in our lives at the very time. It has brought such joy. To some it has brought healing - a means of simply "surviving". I never imagined that there were others out there who clung to their of NKOTB as a lifeline like I did. I have read so many stories - some so touching - others, HYSTERICAL! None the less we are part of a HUGE quilt of NKOTB love, that the guys are just as much a part of as we are. It warms when we are cold. Shades from the sun. Hugs us when we need that hug. Comforts us when we need comfort. Catches our tears when we cry. This quilt is an amazing thing. One that I am honored and happy to share with all of you.
Next time you hear the phrase "Don't hog the covers" - remember to spread the love. Smile at a stranger - help someone who doesn't expect it - be the sunshine in someone elses day - MATTER! Because you matter to me!
Sunday, April 19, 2009
What Happens When Jordan's Ball MEETS Jordan's Chain?
Well let me tell you...
one finds the other half of themselves...
By chance...actually, by our love for "J" we found eachother...
She gets me...I get her...We GET JORDAN...
We laugh at silly jokes...We share stories and pictures...Most importantly we share our day to day trivial things with eachother...she is my new found friend...seperated at birth I do believe....
On the phone we are hysterical...in chat we can be devious...in person? Jordy B...watch OUT!
We are so gonna GET THIS...Jordan...watch out...your ball and chain have found eachother...and it's ON LIKE DONKEY KONG!
one finds the other half of themselves...
By chance...actually, by our love for "J" we found eachother...
She gets me...I get her...We GET JORDAN...
We laugh at silly jokes...We share stories and pictures...Most importantly we share our day to day trivial things with eachother...she is my new found friend...seperated at birth I do believe....
On the phone we are hysterical...in chat we can be devious...in person? Jordy B...watch OUT!
We are so gonna GET THIS...Jordan...watch out...your ball and chain have found eachother...and it's ON LIKE DONKEY KONG!
Saturday, April 18, 2009
More Than I Bargained For
You could say I always marched to the beat of my own drummer. I was never one to conform, follow the trend...most times I could be found going against the grain. It was my goal to do what I loved and loved to love what I do...that's how my parents taught me to live me life....
That has been the case for as far back as I can remember. I was the girl with polka dot leggings, matching polka dot shirt, big black belt, stretchy mini skirt, BRIGHT blue Chuck Taylors and her ever so stylish black & white Donnie Wahlberg Peace Sign Necklace. I lived for the looks, the stares, the "Oh my God, what are you wearing?" faces. I loved it when I got the "New Kids on the Block?...They are so lame!" comments. Why? Because I LOVED them. I was filled with a plethora, yes I said plethora, of useless NKOTB facts. Donnie's birthday? You got it! Jordan's favorite color? No problem. The name of Jon's dog? Off the top of my head. Danny's mom's name? No brainer people. What color are Joe's eyes? ARE YOU BLIND? DUH!
I followed them from the beginning to the end...they made me laugh, cry, smile, jump up and down, squeal like a school girl (Did you see Jordan, he TOTALLY just stopped on me while moving his arm and signing "I'll be loving, loving, YOUUUUUUUUUU! I think I just might die." I followed to where their separate lives took them. Bought the solo CD's, went to bars to watch them play, watched the movies (even if they totally freaked me out), STILL listened to my TAPES, watched my VHS recording of Step by Step and flipped through my filafax full of Mint Condition BOP magazines.
Then, I had to grow up. Did I throw my boys out? Nope, just hid them like a trusted "Friend" (NO COMMENTS FROM THE PEANUT GALLERY), under my bed. Safe and sound for a rainy day OR A FREAKIN' COMEBACK!
It's as if my ALMOST mid-life crisis dreams came true. My boys from Boston came back and with a vengeance. Once again I squealed like a little girl. This time, with all the sexiness, I had what I like to call a "JOEgasm". Yep, I went there. I said it.
Not only did these five amazing men bring back their wonderful sound, they brought back my youthful spirit. They were the swift kick in the ass I needed. They snapped me back to, what "I" would call reality, others may disagree. But the one thing that you cannot take away from me in all of this are 5 things -
1. I had to acknowledge that at one time in my life I was so unhappy that I wanted to end it all. Yes, I tried to "Kill" myself. Because of JORDAN, I was able to vocalize this reality and deal with it. This man, this group, their music SAVED MY LIFE...and I got to thank him.
2. Rekindled friendships. Remember that friend you had in elementary school? The one you got food poisoning with? The one who went to prom with you? And then, when life got in the way you parted ways? Well - she's back. And it seems you needed each other, even if you didn't "think" you did. That's my Kimmie...so glad we found our way back to each other with a little bit of "Summertime".
3. Perfect Strangers. I went to Cleveland to see my 5 fabulous boys from Boston. Made it a girls getaway. Had plans with some online acquaintances to do some "sightseeing" around the arena. In our impromptu meet & greet we found a "pair". Heather and Paul. WOW! It's like we were meant to be together in that time and place because we haven't been without each other since. We traveled across country to MEET these guys because the three of us (Heather, Kim & I), just HAD to...we got Donnie fever with our Cleveland Bus Facetime. He does strange things to people...like scream and run after the bus and yell "I'll see you in St. Louis....5* baby!"...only to find out that those 5* tickets were SOLD OUT...ok, next stop KANSAS CITY! Needless to say I've made a friend for life and have my own personal ROBO (I shall call him ROLO).
4. Internet Sisters. How does THAT happen? You are on line on a community, in a chat room and WHAM out of nowhere your very own Pocket Friend shows up, Jordan Lover and ALL. I call her my pocket friend because she is the friend you would want to have in your pocket at all times so when you NEEDED her she was there. That's my Lisa...that's where I keep her, if I had a pocket close to my heart I would keep her there. Then, there's my alter ego - LaTOYA! She belongs to my NYC Girl (ode to my JoeMac), fellow Jordan LUVAH and all around good gal. The laughs we've shared (LISA, stop yelling into the phone! LATANYA - LATANYA!) Last but not least is my opposite - My Natalie! We compliment each other so well. She makes me laugh. I make her laugh. We are never afraid to GO THERE...we say what we mean and mean what we say...that's just how we roll!
5. FREEDOM - LIFE - LAUGHTER - LOVE - MUSIC - COMMITMENT - A PLACE TO BELONG AND MAKE A DIFFERENCE.
Thank you, thank you Jordan, Jon, Joe, Donnie & Danny for waking me up from my slumber...you are more than you can ever imagine...more than I ever dreamed I was was worthy of...you have given me so much...words fail me...
Joe - YOU are my Sinatra!
Jordan - my life line...my true Knight in Shining Armor...
Jon - My inner voice...you reawakened my need, my want to write...your blogs inspire me...
Danny - You made a "Call to Arms" - I accepted. I have never been more proud to be a "part" of something so much bigger than I am. I hope my efforts in REMEMBERING BETTY are not unnoticed.
Donnie - You make me feel sexy. Something I never in a million years imagined myself to be. Even with cutoff sweatpants, jacked up hair, fuzzy slippers and a New Kids T - YOU give a look or say SOMETHING that makes me feel SEXY.
Thank you!
Simply A Jordan Girl
With BiKnightual Tendencies
Mac Issues
AND a serious case of the Double D's
AKA: Kelly
That has been the case for as far back as I can remember. I was the girl with polka dot leggings, matching polka dot shirt, big black belt, stretchy mini skirt, BRIGHT blue Chuck Taylors and her ever so stylish black & white Donnie Wahlberg Peace Sign Necklace. I lived for the looks, the stares, the "Oh my God, what are you wearing?" faces. I loved it when I got the "New Kids on the Block?...They are so lame!" comments. Why? Because I LOVED them. I was filled with a plethora, yes I said plethora, of useless NKOTB facts. Donnie's birthday? You got it! Jordan's favorite color? No problem. The name of Jon's dog? Off the top of my head. Danny's mom's name? No brainer people. What color are Joe's eyes? ARE YOU BLIND? DUH!
I followed them from the beginning to the end...they made me laugh, cry, smile, jump up and down, squeal like a school girl (Did you see Jordan, he TOTALLY just stopped on me while moving his arm and signing "I'll be loving, loving, YOUUUUUUUUUU! I think I just might die." I followed to where their separate lives took them. Bought the solo CD's, went to bars to watch them play, watched the movies (even if they totally freaked me out), STILL listened to my TAPES, watched my VHS recording of Step by Step and flipped through my filafax full of Mint Condition BOP magazines.
Then, I had to grow up. Did I throw my boys out? Nope, just hid them like a trusted "Friend" (NO COMMENTS FROM THE PEANUT GALLERY), under my bed. Safe and sound for a rainy day OR A FREAKIN' COMEBACK!
It's as if my ALMOST mid-life crisis dreams came true. My boys from Boston came back and with a vengeance. Once again I squealed like a little girl. This time, with all the sexiness, I had what I like to call a "JOEgasm". Yep, I went there. I said it.
Not only did these five amazing men bring back their wonderful sound, they brought back my youthful spirit. They were the swift kick in the ass I needed. They snapped me back to, what "I" would call reality, others may disagree. But the one thing that you cannot take away from me in all of this are 5 things -
1. I had to acknowledge that at one time in my life I was so unhappy that I wanted to end it all. Yes, I tried to "Kill" myself. Because of JORDAN, I was able to vocalize this reality and deal with it. This man, this group, their music SAVED MY LIFE...and I got to thank him.
2. Rekindled friendships. Remember that friend you had in elementary school? The one you got food poisoning with? The one who went to prom with you? And then, when life got in the way you parted ways? Well - she's back. And it seems you needed each other, even if you didn't "think" you did. That's my Kimmie...so glad we found our way back to each other with a little bit of "Summertime".
3. Perfect Strangers. I went to Cleveland to see my 5 fabulous boys from Boston. Made it a girls getaway. Had plans with some online acquaintances to do some "sightseeing" around the arena. In our impromptu meet & greet we found a "pair". Heather and Paul. WOW! It's like we were meant to be together in that time and place because we haven't been without each other since. We traveled across country to MEET these guys because the three of us (Heather, Kim & I), just HAD to...we got Donnie fever with our Cleveland Bus Facetime. He does strange things to people...like scream and run after the bus and yell "I'll see you in St. Louis....5* baby!"...only to find out that those 5* tickets were SOLD OUT...ok, next stop KANSAS CITY! Needless to say I've made a friend for life and have my own personal ROBO (I shall call him ROLO).
4. Internet Sisters. How does THAT happen? You are on line on a community, in a chat room and WHAM out of nowhere your very own Pocket Friend shows up, Jordan Lover and ALL. I call her my pocket friend because she is the friend you would want to have in your pocket at all times so when you NEEDED her she was there. That's my Lisa...that's where I keep her, if I had a pocket close to my heart I would keep her there. Then, there's my alter ego - LaTOYA! She belongs to my NYC Girl (ode to my JoeMac), fellow Jordan LUVAH and all around good gal. The laughs we've shared (LISA, stop yelling into the phone! LATANYA - LATANYA!) Last but not least is my opposite - My Natalie! We compliment each other so well. She makes me laugh. I make her laugh. We are never afraid to GO THERE...we say what we mean and mean what we say...that's just how we roll!
5. FREEDOM - LIFE - LAUGHTER - LOVE - MUSIC - COMMITMENT - A PLACE TO BELONG AND MAKE A DIFFERENCE.
Thank you, thank you Jordan, Jon, Joe, Donnie & Danny for waking me up from my slumber...you are more than you can ever imagine...more than I ever dreamed I was was worthy of...you have given me so much...words fail me...
Joe - YOU are my Sinatra!
Jordan - my life line...my true Knight in Shining Armor...
Jon - My inner voice...you reawakened my need, my want to write...your blogs inspire me...
Danny - You made a "Call to Arms" - I accepted. I have never been more proud to be a "part" of something so much bigger than I am. I hope my efforts in REMEMBERING BETTY are not unnoticed.
Donnie - You make me feel sexy. Something I never in a million years imagined myself to be. Even with cutoff sweatpants, jacked up hair, fuzzy slippers and a New Kids T - YOU give a look or say SOMETHING that makes me feel SEXY.
Thank you!
Simply A Jordan Girl
With BiKnightual Tendencies
Mac Issues
AND a serious case of the Double D's
AKA: Kelly
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Always looking for whats not there...
Wanting so badly to be what you "think" I should be...crying in a corner because I will never atain that level of perfection. I am not even close to being a finished piece of art...I'm a work in progress. Merely an idea...a thought...it is up to me, myself and I to work with what I'm given. A masterpiece I will never be. An abstract piece? Most defintately...forever changing...evolving...growing...finding myself in all of the pieces that you, my friends, my lifelines, give me. Sometimes I appear to be something that I am not...self assured...confident..strong...I am wounded, weak and lonely. Lonely because I often hide the real me for fear of rejection. I need so badly to be loved and accepted...though I am the first to say I don't care what others think...sadly, I do. It matters to my heart...my mind...my being. Always wanting to be more than what I am and longing to be visible...
See me....love me...accept me...appreciate me...KNOW me...acknowledge my existance...see the sacrafices I've made...know that if and when I love you I REALLY love you...I'm a person of my word...I will support you, love you...no matter what...it's how I'm made...right now though, know that I am having a hard time loving me...accepting me...so don't walk away...stand by me and watch me see myself for the very first time. Don't be frightened by the darkness that surrounds me...look really hard and see with me that one sliver of light. That is the "thing" I hold onto, cling to...need.
See me....love me...accept me...appreciate me...KNOW me...acknowledge my existance...see the sacrafices I've made...know that if and when I love you I REALLY love you...I'm a person of my word...I will support you, love you...no matter what...it's how I'm made...right now though, know that I am having a hard time loving me...accepting me...so don't walk away...stand by me and watch me see myself for the very first time. Don't be frightened by the darkness that surrounds me...look really hard and see with me that one sliver of light. That is the "thing" I hold onto, cling to...need.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Round #3 Columbus - My HOMETOWN
It doesn't get any better than seeing the 5 guys that lifted you up and made you feel "better" when you were a teenager on stage in your backyard. FINALLY, my beantown boys made it back to Columbus, Ohio. They hadn't been in BUCKEYE CITY since 1988...that's a long time.
This was even better because I got to experience it with my two cousins, who went to the NKOTB concerts with me as a kid, my friend since elementary school, my new found NKOTB friend Heather, my aunt, my best friend's mom AND my mom. It was a wonderful girls night out. We had so much fun. I squeeled like a little girl - as I always do when those boys are on stage. But when Donnie FUCKING Wahlberg came out wearing Ohio State Gear...my heart did a flip flop. Then, JOE SAW MY SIGN, I swooned, I admit it...that man is the shit. He amazes me with his performance ability and his medley - don't even get me started, he tap dances...the man TAP DANCES...HELL YES! Let's not forget the O-H that Jon and Donnie gave us in the pose off - totally LOVED IT and we got to hear Jon talk - "How'd you do that? I wanna try. O-H" lol - bet he didn't expect that...and then there is Jordan, my heart, he was ON FIRE in Columbus - stole my heart yet again...last, but not least - Danny - sporting his "I SUPPORT YOUR BREASTS" shirt - made me giggle! All in all - by far - the BEST show yet (and I've only seen 6 in the last 6 months)...
After the show it was off to Sugar Bar - what a bust - not that I didn't have a great time - got some good pics - DW was on fire and I will never forget D's rendition of FULL SERVICE - hot, hot, hot! Oh, did I mention that I was referred to as a "Bunny"? Yep, some asshat who calls himself a columnist called the girls there "Bunnies" and "Heiffers"...how RUDE - Geez Louise, just becuase you've never seen the type of following a New Kid has doesn't mean you have to be a hater...we are fans - get the F*#$ over it and leave us alone.
Next stop....THE CRUISE!
LET'S GET THIS SHIT!
Monday, March 30, 2009
Canada Eh...ONLY FOR THE BLOCK!
So Heather and I hopped in the YUMMY MUMMY BUS again and headed to London, ON to see the boys perform one more time, because 2 shows in 13 days just wasn't enough...we had to add one more. Makes it one show a weekend 3 weekends straight. I call THAT dedication, or borderline CRAZY!
Was it worth it? Yes...got "fence" time with Donnie...got to see all of the guys leave their bus and head into the venue and we had great seats close to B-Stage. Not to mention Heather and I, the two most neurotic Blockheads, got to travel together and make complete sense to eachother. AND I met some super cool new Blockheads too...ain't no fan like a NEW KID FAN. At least I don't know any other fans who would let someone they just met crawl between their legs to get good pics of the boys..."Hey Donnie, look down..." NICE! Thanks Nikki...
Did I mention the awesome photos of Donnie's "FEET"? I won't be sharing those...lol...they are for my eyes only.
Next stop...COLUMBUS, OHIO 4/3/09 - The Getting of "THIS" continues...
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Meet & Greet Erie, PA - MY STORY
I guess you could say I was spoiled but my first experience with Jordan Knight. He made me feel so very special. So loved. He was EVERYTHING I wanted and needed him to be. If had only been Jordan in that room I would have been happy...sigh...but I digress.
We did some serious planning for this Meet & Greet. We had jerseys made with our favorite nk's name on the back...we came up with a catchy song to get their attention. Did it work? Hell to the no...Joe 1/2 reacted to our song and not a one of them said anything about our jerseys when we walked in...ok, Jordan did manage a few words once I turned around and he realized I wasn't just wearing a "Garnett" jersey...mine said KNIGHT on the back. THAT, got an "oh yeah". His hug wasn't the greatest...a bit half hearted I must say...sigh...then I turned to Donnie and say "Heeeeelllllooooo MR. WAHLBERG" to which I got a "Hey Baby" and the most amazing hug. Then I introduced him to TJ (you know that whole story). It was picture time...I jump next to my Jordan, of course, and smile big...then Jordan yells HEMOGLOBIN which made me do a "WTF" face and resulted in a not so pretty picture...lol! After the pic I went over to Danny at which point my hands were shaking like crazy...and my voice was quivering. I had so much I wanted to tell him but I think it came out in choppy, incoherant sentences...sigh. At least I was able to give him the print out of each basket, it'e contents and how much it brought it. I had so much more to say though....at this point they started ushering us out...I RUN to Joe and say "Joe, the last time I saw you all I managed to say was Thanks Joe." He chuckled and said "REALLY?" and I said "Yep. But this time I really mean it....THANKS JOE!" That got a big smile and a hug...whoot, whoot! On my way out the door I grabbed ahold of Jon and while hugging him said "Jon, because of you I now have a sticker on my car that says Girls love a Big Ol Tractor!" I was so happy to hear that "Jon" laugh...
And then, it was over....all in all it was less than I wanted but more than I expected...
I will ALWAYS love my boys...especially MY Jordan and this time, that JoeMac....he grew on me...coulda been the eye contact with me while he was on stage but he made my heart skip a beat...
LONG LIVE THE BLOCK!
Will report back in after next Friday's concert in Columbus...
Monday, March 23, 2009
Dearest Donnie:
As a mother I just have to say...thank you from the bottom of my heart! My son experienced something he will never forget. YOU, his idol, made HIM feel like the star. This is what makes you so special. This is what makes the FAN in me say I ABSOPHUKINGLUTELY LOVE YOU.
TJ has been asking to meet you since I returned from MY 1st Meet and Greet. That is ALL he has talked about. I explained that the Meet & Greet wasn't cheap and if he wanted to do it he would have to give some things up. He agreed to NOT have a birthday party and get NO birthday presents. Meeting Donnie Wahlberg was his ENTIRE birthday. I was worried...I won't lie. I wasn't sure how it was going to go but the MINUTE Donnie saw TJ he showered him with love & attention. He honestly made TJ feel like the star.
I'll give you a little rundown of the Meet & Greet. TJ had been practicing what he was going to say to Donnie for well over 3 weeks. Do you think ANY of it came out of his mouth? Nope...the ONLY word he managed to say to Mr. Wahlberg was "Hi". It was PERFECT. When we went in to the room I went straight to Jordan (one track mind...sorry). Got my hug and turned to see Donnie right behind me. I look at him and say "Hellllloooo Mr. Wahlberg" and open my arms wide. He said "Hey baby" and gave me the BESTEST Donnie hug. I turned and said "This is my son TJ" He said "Hey TJ! What's up little man." and gave him the fist bump. I explained that this is what TJ chose as his birthday present/party. Donnie said "Really? That is so cool. Thanks buddy." He then asked where our seats were. I told him and he said "I got something for the boys." (He had also just been introduced to my friend Kim's son). You never know if they will follow through...that they will remember...if it's all talk. During the first picture Donnie yelled "TJ"!!!! (When you see the picture you can see that Donnie is saying "something" and TJ looks scared to death...lol!
We got to our seats...AMAZING...3rd row which was really like 2nd row. When the show started the lead Security Guard came over and said "Hey buddy, come with me." and ushered TJ to the fence right by the stage. OMG! He stayed there THE ENTIRE TIME!
The show started and the first time Donnie saw him he pointed and did the fist to the chest point thing to TJ. My son just turned and looked at me like "Mommy, did that really just happen? During Cover Girl, the son of a friend through the boards got a hat from Donnie because he had presented Donnie with one...I thought "Oh, no, he forgot." My heart sank. Donnie had carried a bottle of water onto the stage with him and had it in his hand, wrapped in orange tape (his identifiable color). When he finished the opening sequence of Cover Girl he came over to the side of the stage and gave TJ his bottle of water!!! TJ thought it was cool, mom was MELTING! Then TJ took his sign up there that said "They Call Me Donnie Wahlberg Jr.". Joe saw it, laughed, smiled and waved at TJ. Then Donnie saw it, smiled and did the fist pump. TJ was on CLOUD NINE...I don't think ANYTHING could have brought him down at the moment. I was so happy that Donnie had remembered to give him something. My heart was full...
Then, as if it could POSSIBLY get any better. During Hangin' Tough Donnie came out with 2 Boston Red Sox hats...HE GAVE ONE TO TJ...he couldn't reach him because TJ couldn't reach that far so a lady standing next to him grabbed it for him and Donnie was SURE to tell her that the hat was for him. My heart was full before...by this point it was BURSTING.
I loved Donnie before because he was a part of a group that got me through so much in my life...then, when they first came back I loved him because he loved us...and he let us know it. He was constantly telling us how REAL he was and how REAL the feelings he had for us, the fans, were...never in a million years would I have thought that this man, this STAR, would make my son feel like a million bucks. As a mother I can never thank him enough. As a fan I am even more in love with him and the person he has proven himself to be.
I am HONORED and very proud to call myself a "Blockhead".
As Always,
TJ's mom...Kelly
TJ has been asking to meet you since I returned from MY 1st Meet and Greet. That is ALL he has talked about. I explained that the Meet & Greet wasn't cheap and if he wanted to do it he would have to give some things up. He agreed to NOT have a birthday party and get NO birthday presents. Meeting Donnie Wahlberg was his ENTIRE birthday. I was worried...I won't lie. I wasn't sure how it was going to go but the MINUTE Donnie saw TJ he showered him with love & attention. He honestly made TJ feel like the star.
I'll give you a little rundown of the Meet & Greet. TJ had been practicing what he was going to say to Donnie for well over 3 weeks. Do you think ANY of it came out of his mouth? Nope...the ONLY word he managed to say to Mr. Wahlberg was "Hi". It was PERFECT. When we went in to the room I went straight to Jordan (one track mind...sorry). Got my hug and turned to see Donnie right behind me. I look at him and say "Hellllloooo Mr. Wahlberg" and open my arms wide. He said "Hey baby" and gave me the BESTEST Donnie hug. I turned and said "This is my son TJ" He said "Hey TJ! What's up little man." and gave him the fist bump. I explained that this is what TJ chose as his birthday present/party. Donnie said "Really? That is so cool. Thanks buddy." He then asked where our seats were. I told him and he said "I got something for the boys." (He had also just been introduced to my friend Kim's son). You never know if they will follow through...that they will remember...if it's all talk. During the first picture Donnie yelled "TJ"!!!! (When you see the picture you can see that Donnie is saying "something" and TJ looks scared to death...lol!
We got to our seats...AMAZING...3rd row which was really like 2nd row. When the show started the lead Security Guard came over and said "Hey buddy, come with me." and ushered TJ to the fence right by the stage. OMG! He stayed there THE ENTIRE TIME!
The show started and the first time Donnie saw him he pointed and did the fist to the chest point thing to TJ. My son just turned and looked at me like "Mommy, did that really just happen? During Cover Girl, the son of a friend through the boards got a hat from Donnie because he had presented Donnie with one...I thought "Oh, no, he forgot." My heart sank. Donnie had carried a bottle of water onto the stage with him and had it in his hand, wrapped in orange tape (his identifiable color). When he finished the opening sequence of Cover Girl he came over to the side of the stage and gave TJ his bottle of water!!! TJ thought it was cool, mom was MELTING! Then TJ took his sign up there that said "They Call Me Donnie Wahlberg Jr.". Joe saw it, laughed, smiled and waved at TJ. Then Donnie saw it, smiled and did the fist pump. TJ was on CLOUD NINE...I don't think ANYTHING could have brought him down at the moment. I was so happy that Donnie had remembered to give him something. My heart was full...
Then, as if it could POSSIBLY get any better. During Hangin' Tough Donnie came out with 2 Boston Red Sox hats...HE GAVE ONE TO TJ...he couldn't reach him because TJ couldn't reach that far so a lady standing next to him grabbed it for him and Donnie was SURE to tell her that the hat was for him. My heart was full before...by this point it was BURSTING.
I loved Donnie before because he was a part of a group that got me through so much in my life...then, when they first came back I loved him because he loved us...and he let us know it. He was constantly telling us how REAL he was and how REAL the feelings he had for us, the fans, were...never in a million years would I have thought that this man, this STAR, would make my son feel like a million bucks. As a mother I can never thank him enough. As a fan I am even more in love with him and the person he has proven himself to be.
I am HONORED and very proud to call myself a "Blockhead".
As Always,
TJ's mom...Kelly
Saturday, March 14, 2009
The anticipation is building...
Those tingles that Donnie talks about in an interview...I'm starting feel them again and my concert is a week away. I think I'm even more excited because my son is going to share it with me. I know how much I enjoy the guys and now he does too...obviously for different reasons...lol! I am a little worried though. What if it isn't all that he expected or wanted it to be? I don't want him to feel let down. I hope that the guys make TJ and Johnothan feel special...they are SO looking forward to meeting their favorite guy, Donnie. I know in my heart he won't disappoint but the mother in me is still leary.
Gah! Nervous...excited...giddy beyond belief. You would think I had never seen them before...lol! This should be old hat to me now. I can't help it...the thought of meeting them again swoon!
Until later...me!
Gah! Nervous...excited...giddy beyond belief. You would think I had never seen them before...lol! This should be old hat to me now. I can't help it...the thought of meeting them again swoon!
Until later...me!
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Sad and Alone...(my letter to the boys)
It seems to be a constant theme in my life...when things go wrong...when my world gets turned upside down...I turn to you. My 5 guardain angels. More than once you have lured me back from the brink with your words...they speak to me on a different level...one that I think no one could understand. The depression...the darkness...it creeps in on me and suffocates me...I cling to anything I can get my head around...yes I said head, not hands...it's my head that defies me...it is the thing that turns against me and before long my heart follows. From there its a downward spiral.
My world turned upside down years ago...that was the first time I experienced the depression...then came the anxiety...I've come to realize that it is just part of who I am...something that makes me, me. Unfortunately my family and friends don't see that...they have "given up" on me...that too is a constant in my life...
There has only ever been one thing that has been able to soothe me, console me...lift me up and make me function again and that is the music of my 5 favorite guys from Boston. Today, at the age of 33 I sit here, like I did when I was 12, and listen to your words. I allow them to lull me...to inspire me...to make me smile, even the smallest smile...I have to tell you that as I get older the depression and anxiety are harder and harder to fight...I'm so tired of fighting...sometimes I feel like giving up would be so much easier on me and those around me...I hate saying that...I hate that I cannot control my thoughts and feelings...I hate that I am so dangerous...even to myself.
You are more than I could have ever imagined you could be to me...more than I ever thought I would need you to be...please, stay with me, as long as you can...grow with me...watch me become strong and independent again...let me have the chance to thank you...really thank you...my life, I owe to you...
Always,Kelly
My world turned upside down years ago...that was the first time I experienced the depression...then came the anxiety...I've come to realize that it is just part of who I am...something that makes me, me. Unfortunately my family and friends don't see that...they have "given up" on me...that too is a constant in my life...
There has only ever been one thing that has been able to soothe me, console me...lift me up and make me function again and that is the music of my 5 favorite guys from Boston. Today, at the age of 33 I sit here, like I did when I was 12, and listen to your words. I allow them to lull me...to inspire me...to make me smile, even the smallest smile...I have to tell you that as I get older the depression and anxiety are harder and harder to fight...I'm so tired of fighting...sometimes I feel like giving up would be so much easier on me and those around me...I hate saying that...I hate that I cannot control my thoughts and feelings...I hate that I am so dangerous...even to myself.
You are more than I could have ever imagined you could be to me...more than I ever thought I would need you to be...please, stay with me, as long as you can...grow with me...watch me become strong and independent again...let me have the chance to thank you...really thank you...my life, I owe to you...
Always,Kelly
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Following the Block...ROUND 2 = Erie, PA 3/22/09
So I'm at it again...following those 5 guys from Boston here, there and everywhere! This time...3 stops...
Stop #1 - ERIE, PA 3/22/09...and this time I'm taking my son...yep, the kid is taking after his mama and he is a tad NKOTB crazy. Thing is...the boy is drawn to Donnie. Not his mama, I'm a Jordan Girl all the way. We have him all set...he has his own Donnie Wahlberg Celtics Jersey to wear the Meet & Greet AND the show...he is so excited...I too may be what you would call excited...lol!
Here is some proof...
There are a total of 6 of us driving up from Columbus on 3/21/09 (4 adult women and 2 young boys)...we are meeting our good friend in Erie..along with another NEW NKOTB friend who will round out of 5* group...WE HOPE!
I'll be sure to update after the trip with all of the juicy details...and I'm sure it will be an adventure.
Keep your eyes open for more info on Stop #2 and well as the NKOTB CRUISE!
Thursday, January 8, 2009
For the Love of the New Kids
It's January 8th and I'm shopping for bathing suits...am I NUTS? No, just want to be prepared. I want a good suit and I want it to look good on me...maybe it'll add to my motivation. You never know...
I'm shopping for an "LBD" (Little Black Dress)...and I hate dresses. Why? Because they are scary...even scarier are the heels you must wear with them...I might be a dancer but graceful I am not.
I'm doing Weight Watchers again and this time I'm sticking to it. It's harder than I thought it would be but the results will be well worth it.
I risk losing my job on a daily basis. Why? one word, no spaces www.newkidsnetwork.ning.comI'm saving money.
For the first time in my life I am saving money. I'm even thinking of giving up my daily Tim Horton's...it could save me almost $10.00 a week. That would go into my "Let's Get This" money fund...
Scarier than all of the scary stuff mentioned prior to...EXERCISE. I am excercising. Whats up with that? AND I'm exercising with Jillian from the Biggest Loser. Have ya'll watched that show? She makes people cry on a daily basis.
On a postive note I've made some amazing friends and rekindled some past friendships...gotta love that. Everyone needs friends...and these people, thes new friends...they GET IT...not very many people do. They usually try to have me committed...I'm not having it though...no NKTV in the looney bin...
Now ladies...The Time Has Arrived...BlockNation...LET'S GET THIS and get it good...your mind is right...the time is now. What time? FACETIME baby...
Donnie, I'm coming for you...Danny, be prepared to feel my muscles...Joe, I wanna dance with you. I mean it...Jon, "Tractor Mechanic". Enough said....and Jordan, my heart, is yours always and forever...I could just "Stare at You".
I'm shopping for an "LBD" (Little Black Dress)...and I hate dresses. Why? Because they are scary...even scarier are the heels you must wear with them...I might be a dancer but graceful I am not.
I'm doing Weight Watchers again and this time I'm sticking to it. It's harder than I thought it would be but the results will be well worth it.
I risk losing my job on a daily basis. Why? one word, no spaces www.newkidsnetwork.ning.comI'm saving money.
For the first time in my life I am saving money. I'm even thinking of giving up my daily Tim Horton's...it could save me almost $10.00 a week. That would go into my "Let's Get This" money fund...
Scarier than all of the scary stuff mentioned prior to...EXERCISE. I am excercising. Whats up with that? AND I'm exercising with Jillian from the Biggest Loser. Have ya'll watched that show? She makes people cry on a daily basis.
On a postive note I've made some amazing friends and rekindled some past friendships...gotta love that. Everyone needs friends...and these people, thes new friends...they GET IT...not very many people do. They usually try to have me committed...I'm not having it though...no NKTV in the looney bin...
Now ladies...The Time Has Arrived...BlockNation...LET'S GET THIS and get it good...your mind is right...the time is now. What time? FACETIME baby...
Donnie, I'm coming for you...Danny, be prepared to feel my muscles...Joe, I wanna dance with you. I mean it...Jon, "Tractor Mechanic". Enough said....and Jordan, my heart, is yours always and forever...I could just "Stare at You".
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