A TWISTED little game...

http://http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=56342462

Are you challenging me?

I accept.

You INSIST that WE, your fans, the beat within your heart, live our own lives...to the fullest. By our rules. That we accept nothing but what we deserve and more. You will not stand by and allow us to go through life as just another "someone" another "face in the crowd". You know that we are capable of more...that we should expect more out of ourselves and others. You encourage us to FEEL...no matter how much it hurts or how much we don't want to...it's imperative that we do this to fulfill our destinies. Our destinies are intertwined. You need us as much as we need you...you are our air and we your sun. We must each dance to our own music...we must think before we speak...we must BE in the moment, of the moment...LIVE for the moment.

I will listen...when others speak...I will hear their words...I will heed their wishes...I will live by example...My life is...a little bit TWISTED but at least I'm living it.

Me Thinks it's funny...

That they guys keep thanking us and we keep thanking them.

How little we knew that we ALL needed "THIS"...whatever it is in our lives at the very time. It has brought such joy. To some it has brought healing - a means of simply "surviving". I never imagined that there were others out there who clung to their of NKOTB as a lifeline like I did. I have read so many stories - some so touching - others, HYSTERICAL! None the less we are part of a HUGE quilt of NKOTB love, that the guys are just as much a part of as we are. It warms when we are cold. Shades from the sun. Hugs us when we need that hug. Comforts us when we need comfort. Catches our tears when we cry. This quilt is an amazing thing. One that I am honored and happy to share with all of you.

Next time you hear the phrase "Don't hog the covers" - remember to spread the love. Smile at a stranger - help someone who doesn't expect it - be the sunshine in someone elses day - MATTER! Because you matter to me!

What Happens When Jordan's Ball MEETS Jordan's Chain?

Well let me tell you...

one finds the other half of themselves...

By chance...actually, by our love for "J" we found eachother...

She gets me...I get her...We GET JORDAN...

We laugh at silly jokes...We share stories and pictures...Most importantly we share our day to day trivial things with eachother...she is my new found friend...seperated at birth I do believe....

On the phone we are hysterical...in chat we can be devious...in person? Jordy B...watch OUT!

We are so gonna GET THIS...Jordan...watch out...your ball and chain have found eachother...and it's ON LIKE DONKEY KONG!

More Than I Bargained For

You could say I always marched to the beat of my own drummer. I was never one to conform, follow the trend...most times I could be found going against the grain. It was my goal to do what I loved and loved to love what I do...that's how my parents taught me to live me life....

That has been the case for as far back as I can remember. I was the girl with polka dot leggings, matching polka dot shirt, big black belt, stretchy mini skirt, BRIGHT blue Chuck Taylors and her ever so stylish black & white Donnie Wahlberg Peace Sign Necklace. I lived for the looks, the stares, the "Oh my God, what are you wearing?" faces. I loved it when I got the "New Kids on the Block?...They are so lame!" comments. Why? Because I LOVED them. I was filled with a plethora, yes I said plethora, of useless NKOTB facts. Donnie's birthday? You got it! Jordan's favorite color? No problem. The name of Jon's dog? Off the top of my head. Danny's mom's name? No brainer people. What color are Joe's eyes? ARE YOU BLIND? DUH!

I followed them from the beginning to the end...they made me laugh, cry, smile, jump up and down, squeal like a school girl (Did you see Jordan, he TOTALLY just stopped on me while moving his arm and signing "I'll be loving, loving, YOUUUUUUUUUU! I think I just might die." I followed to where their separate lives took them. Bought the solo CD's, went to bars to watch them play, watched the movies (even if they totally freaked me out), STILL listened to my TAPES, watched my VHS recording of Step by Step and flipped through my filafax full of Mint Condition BOP magazines.

Then, I had to grow up. Did I throw my boys out? Nope, just hid them like a trusted "Friend" (NO COMMENTS FROM THE PEANUT GALLERY), under my bed. Safe and sound for a rainy day OR A FREAKIN' COMEBACK!

It's as if my ALMOST mid-life crisis dreams came true. My boys from Boston came back and with a vengeance. Once again I squealed like a little girl. This time, with all the sexiness, I had what I like to call a "JOEgasm". Yep, I went there. I said it.

Not only did these five amazing men bring back their wonderful sound, they brought back my youthful spirit. They were the swift kick in the ass I needed. They snapped me back to, what "I" would call reality, others may disagree. But the one thing that you cannot take away from me in all of this are 5 things -

1. I had to acknowledge that at one time in my life I was so unhappy that I wanted to end it all. Yes, I tried to "Kill" myself. Because of JORDAN, I was able to vocalize this reality and deal with it. This man, this group, their music SAVED MY LIFE...and I got to thank him.

2. Rekindled friendships. Remember that friend you had in elementary school? The one you got food poisoning with? The one who went to prom with you? And then, when life got in the way you parted ways? Well - she's back. And it seems you needed each other, even if you didn't "think" you did. That's my Kimmie...so glad we found our way back to each other with a little bit of "Summertime".

3. Perfect Strangers. I went to Cleveland to see my 5 fabulous boys from Boston. Made it a girls getaway. Had plans with some online acquaintances to do some "sightseeing" around the arena. In our impromptu meet & greet we found a "pair". Heather and Paul. WOW! It's like we were meant to be together in that time and place because we haven't been without each other since. We traveled across country to MEET these guys because the three of us (Heather, Kim & I), just HAD to...we got Donnie fever with our Cleveland Bus Facetime. He does strange things to people...like scream and run after the bus and yell "I'll see you in St. Louis....5* baby!"...only to find out that those 5* tickets were SOLD OUT...ok, next stop KANSAS CITY! Needless to say I've made a friend for life and have my own personal ROBO (I shall call him ROLO).

4. Internet Sisters. How does THAT happen? You are on line on a community, in a chat room and WHAM out of nowhere your very own Pocket Friend shows up, Jordan Lover and ALL. I call her my pocket friend because she is the friend you would want to have in your pocket at all times so when you NEEDED her she was there. That's my Lisa...that's where I keep her, if I had a pocket close to my heart I would keep her there. Then, there's my alter ego - LaTOYA! She belongs to my NYC Girl (ode to my JoeMac), fellow Jordan LUVAH and all around good gal. The laughs we've shared (LISA, stop yelling into the phone! LATANYA - LATANYA!) Last but not least is my opposite - My Natalie! We compliment each other so well. She makes me laugh. I make her laugh. We are never afraid to GO THERE...we say what we mean and mean what we say...that's just how we roll!

5. FREEDOM - LIFE - LAUGHTER - LOVE - MUSIC - COMMITMENT - A PLACE TO BELONG AND MAKE A DIFFERENCE.

Thank you, thank you Jordan, Jon, Joe, Donnie & Danny for waking me up from my slumber...you are more than you can ever imagine...more than I ever dreamed I was was worthy of...you have given me so much...words fail me...

Joe - YOU are my Sinatra!

Jordan - my life line...my true Knight in Shining Armor...

Jon - My inner voice...you reawakened my need, my want to write...your blogs inspire me...

Danny - You made a "Call to Arms" - I accepted. I have never been more proud to be a "part" of something so much bigger than I am. I hope my efforts in REMEMBERING BETTY are not unnoticed.

Donnie - You make me feel sexy. Something I never in a million years imagined myself to be. Even with cutoff sweatpants, jacked up hair, fuzzy slippers and a New Kids T - YOU give a look or say SOMETHING that makes me feel SEXY.

Thank you!

Simply A Jordan Girl

With BiKnightual Tendencies

Mac Issues

AND a serious case of the Double D's

AKA: Kelly

Always looking for whats not there...

Wanting so badly to be what you "think" I should be...crying in a corner because I will never atain that level of perfection. I am not even close to being a finished piece of art...I'm a work in progress. Merely an idea...a thought...it is up to me, myself and I to work with what I'm given. A masterpiece I will never be. An abstract piece? Most defintately...forever changing...evolving...growing...finding myself in all of the pieces that you, my friends, my lifelines, give me. Sometimes I appear to be something that I am not...self assured...confident..strong...I am wounded, weak and lonely. Lonely because I often hide the real me for fear of rejection. I need so badly to be loved and accepted...though I am the first to say I don't care what others think...sadly, I do. It matters to my heart...my mind...my being. Always wanting to be more than what I am and longing to be visible...

See me....love me...accept me...appreciate me...KNOW me...acknowledge my existance...see the sacrafices I've made...know that if and when I love you I REALLY love you...I'm a person of my word...I will support you, love you...no matter what...it's how I'm made...right now though, know that I am having a hard time loving me...accepting me...so don't walk away...stand by me and watch me see myself for the very first time. Don't be frightened by the darkness that surrounds me...look really hard and see with me that one sliver of light. That is the "thing" I hold onto, cling to...need.

Round #3 Columbus - My HOMETOWN

It doesn't get any better than seeing the 5 guys that lifted you up and made you feel "better" when you were a teenager on stage in your backyard. FINALLY, my beantown boys made it back to Columbus, Ohio. They hadn't been in BUCKEYE CITY since 1988...that's a long time.

This was even better because I got to experience it with my two cousins, who went to the NKOTB concerts with me as a kid, my friend since elementary school, my new found NKOTB friend Heather, my aunt, my best friend's mom AND my mom. It was a wonderful girls night out. We had so much fun. I squeeled like a little girl - as I always do when those boys are on stage. But when Donnie FUCKING Wahlberg came out wearing Ohio State Gear...my heart did a flip flop. Then, JOE SAW MY SIGN, I swooned, I admit it...that man is the shit. He amazes me with his performance ability and his medley - don't even get me started, he tap dances...the man TAP DANCES...HELL YES! Let's not forget the O-H that Jon and Donnie gave us in the pose off - totally LOVED IT and we got to hear Jon talk - "How'd you do that? I wanna try. O-H" lol - bet he didn't expect that...and then there is Jordan, my heart, he was ON FIRE in Columbus - stole my heart yet again...last, but not least - Danny - sporting his "I SUPPORT YOUR BREASTS" shirt - made me giggle! All in all - by far - the BEST show yet (and I've only seen 6 in the last 6 months)...

After the show it was off to Sugar Bar - what a bust - not that I didn't have a great time - got some good pics - DW was on fire and I will never forget D's rendition of FULL SERVICE - hot, hot, hot! Oh, did I mention that I was referred to as a "Bunny"? Yep, some asshat who calls himself a columnist called the girls there "Bunnies" and "Heiffers"...how RUDE - Geez Louise, just becuase you've never seen the type of following a New Kid has doesn't mean you have to be a hater...we are fans - get the F*#$ over it and leave us alone.

Next stop....THE CRUISE!

LET'S GET THIS SHIT!